...number 3 and number 4

We are at the beach!! Luckily, I did not jump out of the car or snatch that damn atlas out of the SBF's hand. Notice he has gone from SOB back to SBF....gotta love the dysfunction in marriage sometimes. I literally asked myself several times yesterday who the hell did I marry? Christopher Columbus, aka SBF, finally put the damn atlas away and we rode in silence. I ignored the fact that he had turned the volume all the way up on the GPS.

 My oldest must have noticed how I was looking at her glorious can do no wrong daddy because she asked "Mommy, why are you looking at daddy like that?" I just gave her a f____ smile. When the SBF giggled to himself and explained that he thought he saw a tiger...a Bengal tiger at that, I did become concerned and suggested we get his dumb ass some food. 

We arrived at our destination despite the GPS bitch taking us to a dead end at which time the SBF was glad to announce "This is the reason I brought an atlas!!" We met up with our friends who have two young girls!! This family vacation includes 4 adults and 5 children under the age of 10. Can you hear my pill bottle rattle?

I must confess that it was quite touching to see the girls squeal with delight as they crashed into the waves. An afternoon at the beach seemed to make all of the whining and car sickness worth it. Sitting in the sand and watching them play made the stench of my oldest farts fade into the distance. 

I could have sat there for hours. Unfortunately sand got in Miss B's eyes and to avoid a melt down, I stood up and  rushed to her rescue. Pretty sure everyone was entertained with the sand turd that caused my bathing suit to droop in the back of my ass. 

The day ended with me driving frantically to a restroom because Miss B announced she had to do "number 3 and number 4". Walking through Wal-mart in my swimsuit and cover up while carrying a wet ass four year old was a perfect way to end the day. Glad I had a friend there to giggle and take my picture...

 

Confession: Yes, I decided to go into the liquor store on the way out for a bottle of Prosecco. Unfortunately, the champagne was sold inside Wal-Mart and I could not brave going back. Thanks to GPS...we found another liquor store. 

And look what we found....is this fate? Is it Wednesday? Giggle 

To be continued....