...An ode to the sexy bald fella

Today, I celebrate our anniversary...we have been married 12 years, together almost 17. I must take a moment to confess that yesterday I woke up prepared to dog curse my husband because I thought we were married on June 4th and he left the house without saying "happy anniversary". I am glad that the meds wore off and I realized that I was wrong. Damn kids...I used to have my shit so together and now I honestly go blank when people ask me my age.

Back to my life with this man.....What the hell? How we have survived through the years is insane. Just two months ago Farryn asked me "Mommy, did you meet daddy on christianmingle.com"? I could not contain the laughter that erupted. I politely told her no and then began to wonder what will I tell my children about how I met their daddy. For the first few months of my freshman year of college, I wanted nothing to do with Josh Davis. I don't know if the moon and stars were aligned just right, but (circa 1996) I ran into this sexy bald fella with a killer smile and sleeves rolled up and immediately I told myself...yep, that's what I want. What the hell? I had listened to my friends comment on this so called "hot Josh Davis" and I was not the least bit impressed. Now, I was sitting across from him at a picnic table on campus completely in awe with this man. Was it mating season? I ended up confiding to a friend that Josh Davis had stirred something deep within my soul and she told him. We talked on the phone on a Wednesday, went on a date on a Friday, and the rest is history. We are a one night stand almost 17 years ago. Maybe it was our shared love for Aerosmith that sealed the deal. Please tell me how I will explain this to my daughters. We mingled all right, but there was nothing christian about it. For years, I have tried to figure out exactly what was it...My only explanation is that it had to be the pheromones. I was suppose to mate with this sexy bald fella.

He proposed on my birthday....my surprise birthday party. My friends let me get shit faced despite knowing that he was going to pop the question. Josh even confessed that by the third glass of wine he started asking himself if he was sure he wanted to go through with his plans. He gave me a card that had a big ass yellow star and read...you are a star today. I could have slapped him at the table decorated with friends and wine. But, I hid my disgust with the card that looked like it was something for my four year old. I forced a thank you for this shitty purple card and surveyed the table for more wine. Holy hell, I turn to find him on his knees. We were married four months later at sunset on the beach on Amelia Island. We were broke as hell the day after our wedding and came home with $10 bucks to our name, but we were happy.

These last years have been quite eventful...delivering a 1 lb 8 oz (24 weeker), job loss, melanoma, having my big toe amputated, ectopic pregnancy, two high risk pregnancies, being struck by lightning, relocation, job promotions, money issues, and the normal shit that comes with just being married and living your life. Despite it all, he gave me three divas and everyday I blame their behavior on his strong genes. I am pretty sure I will soon post about our bumps in the road. Dysfunction is a reality that I am not ashamed of because it builds character and with our sense of humor it makes for great convo when we find ourselves sitting around the fire pit with my Stellas and laughing at "remember when" stories.

So what's the secret...who the hell knows? Marriage is hard work. If you have friends that are saying it's not, they are snorting some kind of white powder. The two H's help us...humor and horny. I posted below one of my all time favorite cards that I like so much more than those cheesy anniversary cards with birds flying in the background.

For those of you who are married, I wish you peace of mind and a prescription to some kind of narcotic. There have been days I have looked at the sexy bald fella and said to myself who the hell did I marry. Then I catch him dancing in the kitchen and I my soul is at rest. I see him walk in after a long days work and despite his comments about the condition of the house, I get a quick glance of that fella back in 1996 and he reels me back in.

Many people ask what's the secret to a great marriage. How do you make it work...make it stick? I did a little research and found some marital advice and added a couple of tips myself.

Of course numbers numbers 3-5 are mine.  I hope to pass this list down to my daughters one day in hopes that they will have a successful marriage. Feel free to leave advice, comments, or even just post a comment with the number of years you have been married. Seeing numbers over 12 give me hope....ha!! And being honest with each other is a wonderful service for mankind.


So what did I get him for our anniversary? I decided the best way to tell that sexy bald fella that he can still drop it like it's hot or better yet thanks for making me hot all these years. I bought him a little gift. I don't keep up with the traditional gifts for anniversaries. So this year, I thanked him for keeping my fire burning.....a new grill!!

I expect there will be a lot of grilling this weekend and that will be just fine. I will sit with my wine, play some Aerosmith and admire the sun glistening off of that bald head. The same bald head that I have contemplated throwing random objects at over the years and there will be peace in the valley at least for that day.