So, I repeat.... I love my lovely lady lumps. What I do not love is my middle child telling me that I still look a little preg-a-nant (that's how she says it) or when my youngest likes to tell me my ass is big. Those comments are not welcomed. I try my best not to tell my dear Brooklyn to go to hell when she says someone drew white marker lines all over my ass. I just remind myself that when I asked her one day what letter "Davis" started with...she said 14. Now, she will remind me that my strawberry tattoo on my ass does not look like a strawberry. This comment I let slide because I have noticed this tattoo has gone from a strawberry to a strawberry patch. I could be a poster child for why getting a tattoo when you are 18 may not be the route you want to take in life.
So, what do I do with my war wounds and body transformations? Some I work on and some I say the hell with it. I lost my big right toe to melanoma 5 years ago and I decided then that if I liked it, you better love it. So, I proudly put on my sandals with my fresh pedicure for the world to see and I rock out. Brooklyn has offered several times to buy me a pink toe. I decline knowing that I don't want anyone announcing at the grocery store "there is a pink toe on Aisle 6". I have enough trouble finding all the shit on my grocery list...I don't have time to search for a toe.
Do, I miss that toe...sometimes? Uhm, yes...there are some cute flip flops out there, but I like living more. Do I miss that body...sometimes. But to have that body would mean I would have to erase everything I have endured over the years. These kids drive me bat shit crazy most days, but they have imprinted not only my body, but my soul. It's summer time and most of us are struggling with the beast called "why the hell did I not start doing sit ups when it was 20 degrees outside and there was nothing to do, but sit in the comfort of my home". That beast can be the biggest bitch. Despite the fact that summer welcomes an out of school insanity, I love it. Unfortunately, the warm weather welcomes ass shorts, itty bitty bikinis, and mini skirts. After encouragement from my dear friends, I put on my first bikini and was like "Damn, mama still got it." Now, I have never thought I lost it. It's just what I got is different from what I had 10 years ago. Funny how we see ourselves so differently from how others see us. My stomach is not completely fat. I think I have a right "ab" or either a hernia. My thighs do like to jiggle when I walk. I have these cute arm wings that only show themselves when I attempt to wave to someone. My breasts have retreated back into my sternum. But when I put that swimsuit on, I decided that if I like it, everyone else would have to love it. Now, my bikini was not itty bitty, but it was flattering for what I was working with and I rocked it. Confidence will lead you to the right fit.
As far as what I have decided to do to get ready for my summer attire, the list is not long. I watch what I eat meaning I stick with a 1500 calorie diet. I am not perfect though. I don't mind confessing that I will drink coffee for meals. I have tried those smoothies out there and I believe they do work for some. For me, anal leakage is not cute or better yet having to put my flashers on while driving down the highway because I am about to shit myself is not what I need in my life right now. I love to bike, but realistically I like to sleep in when I can and watch shitty TV when the kids go to bed. I know I need to be healthy for my kids and I am struggling very much to make this happen this summer.
In an effort to do something, I started the 30 day squat or what I like to call "drop it like it's hot" challenge. After the first day, I was for sure that I had lost all leg muscle control. I am happy to announce that I have regained muscle control and will not be seeking a scooter at the grocery store. That sexy bald fella has enjoyed watching me and listening to me scream for Jesus, Mary, and God as I bend over just to tie my shoe. Check it out below...
Brooklyn calls it "squatching" and enjoys standing beside me"squatching" while I am breathing hard, tearing up, and contemplating using my oldest daughter's inhaler. Do you know that one night I actually caught myself competing with this four year old over how low I could go. This child can stick her toe in her nose..what the hell was I thinking. Anyway, I am proud to say that I am still hanging in there. I watch my calories as much as I can. I know this behavior may be frowned upon by many, but I don't pretend to have my shit together. I have many friends that have lost weight through exercise and healthy eating and they inspire me. I am proud of their accomplishments. Everyone out there deserves to feel good about their body.
So as you go out into the world of skimpy summer madness, exercise if you can find the time, and try to eat healthy. But most importantly look in the mirror every damn day and say "MAMA STILL GOT IT". If you don't say that, who the hell else will??? What we tell ourselves is much more important than what others tell us. If we don't believe that "we still got it", the "Hey, you look nice today" will fall on deaf ears. And the unhappy bitch that works in the grocery store who takes it upon herself to tell you and I quote "You hair cut is ugly", will destroy you. So,tell that voice in you head that may disagree with your choice to go forth this day forward with an attitude that you are still the .."bite me". To the voice in your head that says, "Hey, not bad, let's work on it a little more", respond "Ok, I got you boo." Because you are your biggest fan. You will always be.
Imagine the foundation that will be laid down for our daughters when they hear from us..."Mama still got it".
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