...hopeless place

I am sitting in a chair surrounded by inflatables and toys and children and bouncy shit. I have pulled two chairs  together to stretch out and I look like that mother.

You know the one you have seen. She has a scowl on her face and she is completely ignoring her kids. Yep, that's me. I am ignoring the mother beside me that has carefully watched her children jump on a large plastic castle full of air for an hour..clapping for them and shit. She keeps glancing over at me with her judging eyes. I know what she is thinking. "Is she a neglectful mother or babysitter?" I am seconds from asking her if she needs something from me. 

At this point, I am tapped out and running on "E". There is nothing impressive about jumping. I brought them here so I could have time to zone the hell out. Yes, I hear them calling my name, but I don't give a shit. They call my name 2000 times a day. I want to drop kick the book I brought to read because I am too mentally and emotionally exhausted to read. The only energy I can muster up is to stare at a bare wall. Rihanna is playing and I hear..."I fell in love in a hopeless place". I giggle. I am in a hopeless place and I love the shit out of everyone one of these leeches. I just left my house with my girls because I went to MY bathroom and there was a piece of shit floating around with no tissue paper. Really...who shit and didn't flush or better yet didn't wipe??? Of course there were no confessions from them. Just blank stares at me like "oh, hell mama is going to lose her shit". 

So, we pile in the car and they proceed to ask me 100 stupid ass questions. I grip the steering wheel and answer each one trying not to cry or yell out..."shut the hell up. I don't know why they only make movies for certain American Girl dolls. I don't know why and how bullets kill people. I don't know what kind of cellphone you will get in 3 years." 

This may seem harsh to some and all I can say is "bless your heart". I can't devote every second of the day to them. I can't use all of my brain cells to answer nonsense. I can't divide myself into three. 

What I can do is go get in a corner of this bouncy place, do my squats, calm down, and mom the fuck on.