...I love that man of mine

A past FB shout out to that sexy bald fella...

"While lying on a blanket at the girls' cheerleading practice, I ran into this hot bald fella I met in front of Hume Hall almost 16 years ago. He hadn't changed a bit...cuffed sleeves, sunglasses, killer smile......then his children ran over and called me mommy.

This pretty much sums up what I experience some days and I make sure to type SOME days because parenting is hard and marriage is harder. There are days where I wish we could "break up" for at least the weekend and the holiday months where I contemplate writing out divorce papers that cover the months of November-February. Sometimes I question his decision to let the children watch a documentary on slavery. There are days when I look outside and ask myself "Wtf is he doing. Did he just toss one of my children 10 feet in the air???" or "Is he on his lawnmower in the snow? Damn moron is going to kill one of my children" But in between the dysfunction, the arguments, the exhaustion, and the doubt if we are doing things right, there is a laughter and a love that fills this house.

I am pretty sure I have already done enough damn things to damage my children, but I have done one thing right. I have given them one of the most wonderful, patient, and caring fathers.

Our parenting styles are completely different, but as I get older, I realize they balance out the dynamics of our house. He gets up in the morning, cutting up fresh pineapple, mangos, melons, strawberries, and bananas. I make sure we have a steady stock of the essentials: Cheetos, Nutella, candy, ice cream, popsicles, pretzels, and popcorn. The good stuff (giggle). He makes sure the children brush their teeth every night. I don't. He plays with them and actually enjoys it. I have taken time to watch him while he re-enacts a Barbie Real Housewives of the Playroom saga and I swear I think he enjoys it. And of course he usually wins our Friday night family dance offs.

I couldn't help but look over at the sexy bald fella while he slept last night. A five hour nap had me wide awake in the wee hours of the morning, but there was a calmness around me. The ticking of our bedroom clock in combination with Josh's freight train snoring let me know I am where I am suppose to be. Many a nights I have contemplated smothering the sexy bald fella with a pillow due to the unnatural sounds he makes while breathing, but at that second I just let him be. These sounds let me know he is here and he is present. I walk in the bedroom sometimes and catch him napping in the most unusual positions and I wonder if we have killed him. He is outnumbered..."bless his heart".

His sense of humor, his love for his daughters and his determination to be a sound provider make my job easier. Now he's not perfect. There is plenty of shit that literally makes me want to punch him in the throat. He made sure to inform me that I was shitting green lava during the birth of our second child. He then went on to say our child looked "kinda ugly" to a me (a sleep deprived postpartum mother). To stop our children from pleading to spend the night at a shady neighbor's house, he made up a story about his cousin that was kidnapped at a young age and scared the shit out of them. He has sent each girl to school with clothes on backwards or so many colors that they look like a Reading Rainbow advertisement. He would much rather piss outside then in the house and if he should piss in one of our bathrooms....he sits. Poor man is so afraid the girls may walk in on him that for the last 10 years he actually sits on the potty. 

Do I think he has an easy job ahead of him? Hell no!!! He is their first introduction to what a man should be like. He will teach them what to expect from boys. They will not look to boys for comfort or reassurance because they have him to tell them every day "God is with you. God loves you and you're special".  I am pretty sure they will drive him mad with dating, proms, and weddings, but my soul is at rest because I know "they got a good one".

So, Happy Father's Day to my sexy bald fella, to all the daddies out there, and to the mommies that are daddies too!! I know it can be hard sometimes, but to quote the SBF's favorite rapper..."keep your head up!!"

The girls gave him a portable speaker for Father's Day and handmade cards with ineligible shit scribbled all over them and he was happy. I will be giving him the usual...a sexual favor which always seems to make him even happier.